you have stolen my heart.

Dear Cedar City,

You have stolen my heart.

I never could have guessed that four years ago when I first visited campus as a high school senior that you would eventually play such a HUGE role in my life. I remember sitting for a presentation in the Starlight Room & looking out at the red rocks surrounding this little place.

A distinct thought came to me: "This is where I'm going to school."

What? No. I shook it out of my head. That wasn't my plan. BYU. That's where I planned to go. Yet, time and time again (3 times to be exact), I visited campus & left thinking, "I really liked it again, dang it." I was upset that where I was supposed to go was somewhere down south in a town I'd never heard of in between Parowan and Kanarraville (which I'd also never heard).

 Now, I have less than a week of class. Just three finals. And I'll be done with my degree. An SUU graduate in communication & Spanish. Wow.

Time really flew these past 3.5 years. I can't imagine my life without the dear people I've met at SUU in it. My best friends. The professors who chat with me on the way to class, in Walmart, who take my class to IHOP for international pancake day, sing Christmas carols while horseback riding, or write a special note on my test because I didn't do as well as they knew I could.

The roommates (and non roommates who practically are roommates) who have become my best friends ... who have seen my SILLY, crazy, weird side & still spend time with me (SHOCKER). The people who have given me rides to countless places due to my lack of transportation, endured an hour in the grocery store with me so I could price match ads, who invite me to Taco Tuesday, Krave, and St. George Temple trips.

I thought I was a pretty outgoing person in high school, but even that changed in college. I shared my talent (and had friends who would listen, offer feedback, and encourage me to continue writing music) at SUU Idol, open mic nights, SUU's Got Talent, Miss SUU, backyard concerts and ward/stake talent shows.

I tried new things. Newspaper. Editing. Presidential Ambassador. Certified tour giver. Tele-counselor. Department representative. Intern. Radio show host. Horseback rider. Rock climber. Graphic design wannabe. Traveler.

I fell in love for the first time at SUU.

I fulfilled a dream of studying abroad, which influenced my decision to minor in Spanish.

I could go on for hours sharing memories of this town, this school, these people who have impacted me so greatly.

But, I think I have made my point -- how glad I am that a silly high school crush convinced me to attend an event at SUU. If he hadn't been an ambassador, let's be honest ... I might not have even given a thought to going on a campus tour. But he was, and I did.

Cedar City, a little town, holds a very big spot in my heart.

**I also posted a blog about SUU that has some favorite photos on the tbirdnation blog. You can read it here.

life lately

                 

I can sum up the last month of my life in one word: unpredictable. 

Do things ever really turn out the way we plan? I think this is a constant theme on my blog -- being surprised by what happens.

I've often heard that life is what happens when you stop making plans, and I suppose I've come to see the truth of that statement. Sometimes, in just one day, you become great friends with a coworker (the one pictured above). Courtney and I have been Presidential Ambassadors together for 2.5 years, have worked together for 1.5 years, and somehow, in the last month, she has become a treasured friend. We even traced it back to a simple conversation that happened at work. 

I think it's these random (though not-so-random to God) friendships that remind me how kind our Heavenly Father is to us. He knows exactly who to place on our path & when. This last semester (and especially month) has taught me much about His timing. It is truly better than ours, because He sees the whole picture. At times, I get so frustrated. I think, "But, this is what I want. This is what should happen. This is what is best."

Yet,  if I had it my way, how many lessons would I miss? How many friendships would not be developed? How many tiny miracles would I cease to see in daily life? How many blessings would I forfeit if I insisted things be done my way in my time? 

To quote an excellent talk given by President Henry B. Eyring in Oct. 2012 General Conference:

"His time should be soon enough for us since we know that He only wants what is best for us."  

Though life lately has been quite unpredictable, it is clear that I have also been blessed in countless ways -- through 2 a.m. FaceTime conversations, 25% off of a book for a final project, pillow talking with best friends, unexpected answers to prayer, phone calls with my siblings, holiday traditions with my mom, letters from missionaries at the perfect time, gentlemen who are really gentlemen, free Thursday dinner, wearing capris on a bike ride in November, #tbirdnation pride...the list could clearly go on & on.

So, in spite of (or perhaps because of) the unpredictability, I am quite thankful. 

the ugliest of them all.

I love a good ugly sweater party. Two years ago, I kicked off the holiday season with an ugly sweater bash. Last year I planned to, but ended up leaving town early for Thanksgiving. It was great to have a final hoorah this year before graduating. And there was quite the turnout! Pictures will do better justice than my words, so enjoy.

These faces were just so fitting for the occasion -- Also, Courtney won for ugliest sweater

Rebekah even accessorized with Santa earrings

Awkward Family Photos on the couch

People came and went, but this was the main group for the night. There are some ugly sweaters in that crowd!

Happy Holidays. If you're wanting to host a party this year, make it an ugly sweater occasion.

indecision.

Kanarraville Falls hike yesterday -- also, this photo has nothing to do with this post :)

Sometimes, I am terrible at making decisions. I overthink, overanalyze, ask for opinions from everyone, and wonder, and wonder, and wonder what to do. I make pros and cons list, measure out costs, think of possible consequences. I envy those people who can make a decision without all this hassle, even if sometimes it is necessary to take a little longer to decide. I'm certain I take longer than almost anyone!

As you might remember, a few months ago I was trying to figure out my summer plans. I had a few different options, even if the top two choices I had hoped for weren't options for me. I still had other options. I wondered what to do and where to live. Eventually the decision was made to stay in Cedar City.

It was scary. It was a new thing for me to not move home. To not visit home in 3+ months. To dive in to this small, quiet town.

And I've had a lot of adventures (like hiking Kanarraville Falls yesterday & making wonderful memories) and I can say this house is probably my favorite out of all the places I've lived. I've become even better...best friends with Amanda (and I'm so lucky to have her as my roommate this summer). So, that's great, right?

But why do I feel...frustrated? Anxious? Why do I panic sometimes about being here? Wonder if I made the right decision?

I was preparing a talk for church today and I came across a quote that went something along the lines of -- sometimes we make right decisions but at the wrong time. Anyway, all day, I've been trying to figure out a few things about the upcoming semester. Like graduating in December & moving home or going to grad school in the fall or ... so many choices.

Here I am again. Forced to make some decisions. And eventually I know I'll make a choice. I need to have confidence that I'm able to make good decisions for my life. And it's a little scary.

Rant. Over.

Also, check out Ben Rector. He's one of my favorite artists this summer. I especially love this song:

snapshot sunday [b&w]

It's been a great weekend -- a fantastic break before this week of craziness and the following few weeks of insanity (aka ... three more weeks until my junior year is OVER). I thought you might enjoy some photos from my weekend (obviously edited via Instagram). Apparently, I was in a black & white mood!

Rebekah & I before going to the temple on Saturday 

What a great collage of emotion! This is my friend Austen and I. Can you tell we kind of were feeling goofy? And possibly singing HSM throughout the night?

My roommate Heather and I on the drive down to the temple for stake temple pie & icecream night. Heather is going on mission to Canada in two months! 

 There are some photos to update you on my life :) So grateful for the good friends I have in my life. Seriously. Blessed.

snapshot sunday.

Me, Jake, Brayden, and Ben (friends from high school)

It is such a cool thing when boys you grew up with & went to high school with come back as men after serving a 2-year mission.
...When they grow up a little.
.....mature (a little).
........and radiate happiness when they get back.

Today I saw my friend Jake speak about his missionary experiences in the England Leeds mission. His talk was exactly what I needed to hear today. It was powerful. Brilliant. And it made me want to become better.

One thing Jake talked about was this key question: Who am I?
And, on that same idea ... Are the choices I'm making today limiting my potential?
It gave me a lot to think about. But one thing is for sure -- God knows each one of us. He knows who we were before we came to Earth, who we are right now, and more importantly He knows who we can become.

I'm grateful for my friends who are such examples of this & for the opportunities I have to learn again & again these principles.

How was your Sunday?