Binetti's Conversion

I received this conversion story a few months ago from a wonderful family who was baptized in November 2013. It was saved in my drafts until today, when I happened upon it & realized I had long ago forgotten to post it. Maybe there is someone reading it who needs it now.
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"Twelve years ago, a seed was placed in the soil. It lay dormant on top of the hard ground which it fell on. Waiting for the time when the soil would become willing to take it in. I personally had so many questions about my faith. I’m good at asking questions. I’m usually good at finding answers. But the answers I craved for, the questions that mattered the most, were very elusive.

I was forever changed when about 10 years ago I said one of my few heartfelt, sincere prayers. At this time, my wife, Sheryl was much more spiritual than me. The way I practiced my faith at that time was mostly robotic. Doing what I thought was correct, and even following my own doctrine rules where I thought the doctrine of my faith was, for lack of a better word “silly." 

Sheryl was going to attend a faith-based convention with a friend of hers and asked if I wanted to go. I can’t remember why I said yes. Usually I would say, you go, and play video games throughout the day and grab some food with onions in it for dinner. But I said yes, I would go. And thanks to Heavenly Father… I did. 

It was there that I learned that Jesus is the Christ. That he died for our sins. That he was my Savior. The seed that was on top of the ground was taken in. It had been planted. But more needed to be done. The ground lacked the water and the nutrients for the seed to prosper. So it still lied dormant. I was given a gift of knowing that Jesus is the Christ and basked in that knowledge. All manner of good things occurred for me and my family during that time. 

I went to church regularly, and I tried very hard to keep that wonderful Spirit inside of me. But that feeling started to deplete. Why was it going away? I was missing something and I didn’t know what it was. Over time, it left. It wasn’t there anymore. I could only recall that wonderful experience in my memory, but the Holy Ghost was gone. It was no longer in me. I became selfish. I became stoic. I did only that was required. And the worse thing about it was that I didn’t even care. 

I felt as long as I didn’t hurt someone with my actions or words, I’m good. I didn’t realize that my inaction and lack of words hurt just as much, especially to those who I love the most. My family. It was like a deep dense fog surrounded me. I’m so fortunate and blessed to have my wife. She stood by me, even when I was so lost. She kept on being that beautiful person to everyone she comes in contact with. It was her gift of service to others that brought some wonderful people into our lives. As she likes to put it, they had a “light” about them, and undeniable spirit. I sensed it. And was taken aback. They came to help a neighbor in need with a debilitating affliction, Multiple Sclerosis. They came only to serve. My wife was moved by them. She referred to them in the possessive. “My Kids”, “My Missionaries”. They played games with our children outside, while I stood inside, separated from my family because of my own selfishness. But they also taught. And even in my state of selfishness, I felt compelled to listen. 

Why, I don’t really know. Perhaps it was their kindness that attracted me. Perhaps it was the way my children loved them like big brothers and sisters. So I listened. At first, I questioned. Remember. I always question. I confronted Elder Lee with some information I found. He smiled and said if I didn’t mind to give him some time so he could research and gain wisdom about my question. I vividly remember that night when he said he had his response. He started with a question to me, “Do you seek this knowledge to challenge my faith, or do you wish to understand it?” 

Wow. What a question. I was completely taken off guard. My original intent was to challenge. To contest. But something told me not to do that. It told me to understand. So that’s what I told him. I want to understand. It was at that very moment when that dense fog lifted from me. I saw the spirit that radiated from these young men and women. I wanted to understand more. The seed that was planted finally left its hibernation. It was dormant no more. It started to take root. The next few months were a whirlwind. I reconnected with my family. I waited eagerly for the missionaries come. We met amazing people. People who face the same earthly struggles but do it with such grace and peace of mind. 

During this time of awakening, I remember a lesson that was instrumental in guiding me down this path that led me here today. It was about prayer. We talked about how Joseph Smith came across a verse in the bible:

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith."

I was thunderstruck. When I was questioning 10 years ago, I asked of God. And I asked in faith, not wavering. And he gave me wisdom. The other few times before when I did the same thing, asking of God, in faith not wavering. He answered. One of the key things I was missing that caused the Holy Ghost to leave me before was I did not know how to truly pray. I immediately asked the elder: "how do you pray?"

And he told me how and they told me to pray. Pray all the time. Ask of God. In faith, not wavering. So I did. More teachings came. I was awestruck. Some of the doctrines that I followed on my own, because of my belief that my church doctrines on that matter were “silly” turned out to be the same doctrines this church followed. Other doctrines felt right and true. I kept praying. Waiting for answers. I started to attend church. I saw my children watch the Holy Ghost given to a newly baptized member. I remember one of them telling me he wanted that to happen to him. He felt the spirit enter that lucky person. He wanted that blessing.

I remember Elder Yates teaching a lesson to my oldest child. One of our twins was listening in quietly. Elder Yates was teaching about prayer to my oldest. The elder requested that my son ask of God one question that evening. Well, the twin thought that was a fine idea and took it upon himself to do the same. And Heavenly Father answered his prayer. 

Shortly thereafter, I was praying at work prior to the start of my day. I pray a lot now. And I asked if this church is true ... if Joseph Smith was a prophet ... if the gospel of the Lord has been fully restored to this earth. I have been asking this question daily, multiple times a day. Feeling that I was getting no revelations. But then. On that day. That wonderful Wednesday morning on October 16th. I heard that quiet voice inside of me. 

It said, “What more must I do? I lifted that fog that surrounded you. I answered your child’s heartfelt prayer just like I did for you 10 years ago. Your other child wants to receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. You have been reconnected with your wife and family. I ask again. What more must I do?” 

That seed that was once dormant, that laid on top of hard soil, was eventually taken in and planted. That ground was nourished by our missionaries, was finally watered this evening when I was baptized. When I took on the name of Jesus Christ, where I promised to keep His commandments. And endure forever. I look with a humble heart to the future when that seed bears its fruit. When I can stand next to our Savior and say, "I said what you wanted me to say. I did what you wished me to do. I lived your gospel."